Dear Abby: Am I wrong that I don’t want to finance the roommate anymore?

DEAR ABBY: I’ve been living with someone for four years. When we started living together, his son “Bajroni” was in prison. Byron is 33 years old and has been in trouble since he was 15 years old. His father continues to rescue him. I used two of my credit cards to raise the $11,000 bond to get him out of jail. In return, Byron agreed to put a new roof on us and help around the house.

Byron has not completed any of the tasks asked of him and his father continues to help him anyway. We had to pay Byron’s rent in rehab to keep him from getting kicked out. This has created a rift between me and my boyfriend, who thinks I’m selfish and greedy.

Am I wrong that I no longer want to help financially? We were doing great until this happened. – DOING TIME TOO, IN ALABAMA

DEAR TIME DONE: Byron is the person he is because his father has enabled him since childhood. You are neither selfish nor greedy to refuse to give more money. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but if you don’t want to continue to be emotionally blackmailed by your boyfriend, get out now before you’re financially drained.

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DEAR ABBY: I don’t mind driving at night, but I’d rather stay home than go out. To be honest, I don’t like to be out after 4 or 5 pm Yes, I miss a lot of social activities, but I don’t mind.

The problem is friends and acquaintances, who, when they learn that I will not go out at night, immediately offer to pick me up, because they are kind and polite. Every time I explain that it’s not driving, it’s that I prefer not to be out at night, it falls on deaf ears.

I know I’m lucky to have sweet friends who volunteer to drive me, but I’m tired of explaining myself. Since I don’t want to offend anyone, can you suggest a polite way to reject these people? Nothing I’ve said so far has worked, including saying, “It’s not driving. I don’t go out at night.” – THE HOUSE IN FLORIDA

DEAR HOUSE: Perhaps you should phrase your message a little more clearly by saying, “I don’t think you understand. It’s not driving, it’s that I’m not comfortable going out after dark. Please don’t ask me again because my answer won’t change.”

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DEAR ABBY: My wife’s family has a history of breast cancer. She has had several MRIs and biopsies, which have caused a lot of worry and stress. She is now going for a lumpectomy. I’m starting to think it might be better to have her breasts removed. I did not marry her breasts; I married the woman after them. What do you think? — PROACTIVE IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR PROACTIVE: I’m sure you love her, but I think you should support your wife emotionally and let this decision be something that is decided between her and her doctors.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.